The Holy Anguish

Why should a man bow during prayer? Should he be brought to his knees in deep solemn reverence? Would he fall to them in a terror of a Holy God? I find, more often or not, that a true and penitent Christian is brought to his knees by the crippling anguish of his own estate.

At times I find myself bowing in reverence because when I was young I was taught to bow. As I grow closer to God I am cast on my knees not out of reverence, nor by fear, rather I am thrown to the threshing floor because of my distress.

It's not like me to post something this close to my heart, I don't know if anyone will read this but I feel as though I need to say it. There is a great deal of desperation in my soul as of late. I must be different. I must be changed. I must leave this flesh behind me. There have been long hours for me in pain and agony over how much work there is to be done.

David, why are you saying all of this? I don't know - but what I do know is that In my despair I am given strength. Maybe I'm supposed to convey that in my agonizing for holiness and change I find energy. Maybe I am simply supposed to challenge people. It is not good for a writer to simply write without objective, but I do because I want to share who I am. I am a worthless sinner who is no more worthy to be called a son of God than a rock - I am however a son of God because Christ has made me to be. I anguish over the sin that crops up in my live (or at sometime has taken residency), but I rise in the righteousness of Christ. I anguish over the hellish and Godforsaken estate of the world, but I rise in the Hope of Christ.

Holy Fire will create Holy Anguish. Pray for revival only if you're willing to suffer for it.